Helping Your Kids Cope
With a Military Move

The way you break the news matters. For younger children, keep it simple and positive. Focus on the adventure ahead, the new room they will get to decorate, and the new places they will explore. Use picture books about moving or draw pictures together of what their new life might look like.

School-age children need more detail and more honesty. They will have specific concerns about leaving their school, their friends, and their activities. Answer their questions directly, and give them permission to feel sad about what they are leaving behind while also encouraging them to look forward.

Children handle change better when they feel some sense of control. Give them age-appropriate ways to participate in the move. Younger children can help pack their own toys and choose what goes in their special travel bag. Older children can research the new area, look up activities and clubs, or help plan a road trip route.

If possible, let your children have input on the new home. Show them photos of houses you are considering, virtual tours of the neighborhood, and information about nearby parks and schools. When children feel invested in the destination, the transition feels less like something happening to them and more like something they are part of.

Routines are an anchor during chaos. Even when everything else is changing, consistent bedtimes, mealtimes, and family rituals provide the stability children need. Pack a box of familiar items — a favorite blanket, bedtime books, a nightlight — that you can set up immediately in your new home so bedtime on the first night feels normal.

During the travel days between duty stations, maintain as much structure as you can. Regular meal stops, scheduled breaks for play, and predictable check-ins about how everyone is feeling help the journey feel manageable rather than overwhelming.

Goodbyes are hard, but they are important. Help your children say goodbye intentionally rather than rushing through the departure. A small going-away gathering, a last visit to a favorite park, or exchanging contact information with friends gives closure and honors the relationships they built.

For younger children, create a simple goodbye ritual, like taking a photo at their favorite spot or making a small scrapbook of memories. For teens, encourage them to exchange social media handles and plan future video calls. The message you want to send is that leaving a place does not mean losing the connections made there.

Teenagers face unique pressures during a military move. Their social identity is closely tied to their friend group, their school, and their community. Leaving in the middle of high school can feel devastating. They may be leaving behind a sports team, a theater program, a first job, or a romantic relationship.

Give your teen space to grieve what they are leaving behind, but also help them see the opportunities ahead. Texas communities near military installations are especially welcoming to military families — many schools have dedicated programs for military-connected students, including peer mentoring, credit transfer support, and extracurricular integration.

Some stress during a move is normal, but watch for signs that your child may need extra support. Changes in eating or sleeping patterns, increased clinginess or withdrawal, frequent complaints of stomachaches or headaches, declining school performance, or regression to younger behaviors can all signal that your child is struggling to cope.

Check in regularly with simple, open-ended questions. "What was the hardest part of today?" or "What are you looking forward to this week?" can open conversations without pressure. Let your children know it is okay to not be okay, and that asking for help is a sign of strength.

If your child's stress does not ease after the first few weeks in a new location, or if you notice persistent behavioral changes, professional support is available at no cost to your family. Military Family Life Counselors (MFLCs) are embedded at every installation and provide confidential, short-term counseling with no records that follow your child.

Military OneSource also offers up to 12 free non-medical counseling sessions per issue for every family member. School counselors at military-connected schools in Texas are specifically trained to support children through PCS transitions and can be a valuable first point of contact.